Tuesday, October 17, 2006

An open letter to Dell Tech Support

You really want to know what you can do to make me reccomend Dell to my friends? Fine ..here it is.

1- I don't feel like I need to give you a pint of blood for you to agree that I own my computer.

Mine was purchased for me by a friend who owed me money that I no longer have a relationship with. Why? Well because he turned out to be a drug addled homicidle lunitic. In order to take ownership of the support case I had to recall his phone number which is deleted from everything I own since he was evil and scary, his address, He and I both now live in other countries ( Thank God) and now and I have no memory of his address ( call it up to selective memory erasure or post traumatic stress disorder) Why do I have to find my ex friend , get his social security number, blood type and a sperm sample for you to help me? It was sent to me, I registered it, I have the tag numbers and it's under your warranty. Own the case!

2- Also I got very lucky with my last support rep, I have often times ( And I don't mind outsourcing ) spoken to people who have clearly given me wrong advice, spoken with such a thick accent that I could not understand them and been spoken down too like a moron. Look I don't build computers but I have been using them since the eighty's, I do object oriented programming and I generally know my way around windows. If you get the picture that I understand what a C prompt is then I don't need a 3 hour explanation of what the freaking C prompt is. "Ok you know what the C prompt is, you’re there now? Good Type this. It’s the way you guys bunch everything on one disk that makes me confused about where I go to get the tools I need. If you get the vibe that I'm computer savvy then let’s get to work

3- Why can’t you just give me a bare bones OEM of windows and then another copy of all your add on’s and bloat ware. What if I don’t want the four gigs of tutorials and crap I don’t use and don’t want and don’t need? Let me decide what installs on my computer. I uninstalled your operating system and just installed Win XP alone. My System is literally over 30% faster and has gigs more space. Why? So I can have animated tutorials that take me hours to get rid of since they tie up DLL’s that I’m not sure about deleting cause there shared. I want two things. I want a Windows disk that will install windows, then I want another disk with all the crap you’re trying to push on me and then I want to be able to say “hey I would rather not install AOL but please throw Adobe on there for me”. So I can choose the crap I want and don’t

. Also don't give up so easy, again my last interaction was wonderful. I can't tell you how many times I have had one of your reps with one of my other purchases tell me " Sorry reformat, can't do anything" Only to find the answer on another board ( not yours) and realized that I almost lost years of data because someone isn't up to date with a Windows operating system repair tool that you installed yourself in my computer that fixes whatever the problem I have had is, or a Microsoft tool that is installed with the windows you gave me when I bought my system.

Don't you guys get a manual when you install a new version of windows? I do. Why did you give up on me so easily and why did I spend hours on the phone with you only to find the answer myself?

4- Lastly, make your components replaceable with other companies components I bought the XPS just for that and I still find there are thing's I can only get from you. If I buy a laptop from you and I'm somewhere in the Sahara desert (It happens) and I need a component and actually find one. Why shouldn’t it work?

After I bought this system from you it's mine, let me do what I want with it and use whatever components I want for it.

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